I will be the first to admit, this is a little strange, as this post is directed towards a specific person, with no real value to anyone but that person, which is just weird, but its *my* blog, so there! :-)

When it comes to giving someone flowers, there really are only two reasons for it. There is a distant third, with events such as weddings and funerals, where it is more of tradition than anything else. By and large, a flower delivery, especially at someone’s work means either a) you fucked up pretty bad or b) you are really pushing for getting some action later on that evening.

Since I have little hope of “getting any” anytime soon, you guessed it, yeah, I fucked up. I think in part why the I fucked up flowers means so much to so many, especially when delivered to someone’s work, is that it shows everyone else around what a retard I was, which plays nicely to the whole situation.

The silly part of this all is that I always seem to be a day or two off in my plans. I had full intention of dropping the flowers on Tuesday, which as you will have it, was one of your crappiest days at work to date. I missed that window, and I doubt it will happen again. I quite literally would have gotten the most bang for my buck if I had my shit together and moved on this Tuesday. Alas, I screwed up, and your bad day won’t be able to again be an opportunity for me.

It’s Thursday now, and just a normal day, and here you are, with some flowers, which I hope make you have a somewhat nicer day than usual. Yes, they are “I fucked up” flowers, and not “I want some action” flowers, though, god damn it, a little nook never killed anyone. *Ok, not to distract, but damn, there are actually a boatload of people dying mid pump.

Hopefully you have a really crappy Thursday, it would just work out so much better for me. If not, you at the very least are getting some of that “wit” you mentioned was lacking the other day. It’s a little hard, I am walkin’ on eggshells here, just to err on the side of extremely safe. That does not mean I don’t owe you at least a few hundred “your butt” comments. And yeah, I totally noticed you were “slutting out” (Heather style) the other day. That’s all going to come back in time, I just need to fine tune the line in the sand, and make sure I don’t get too far into enemy territory.

Flowers with notes and love letters and appologies are a dime a dozen, not that they are inappropraite, or don’t serve a purpose, it’s just you have gotten them from me before, and I wanted to do something different. Airing my dirty laundry for the world to see may not work as well as letting your co-workers know that I know I am an ass, but at least it’s not the same old sappy “toss it in a drawer and forget about it last minute at the florist” letter thing.

Enjoy the flowers, I hope you have a crappy day, and of course, (look away loyal readers, sappy parts coming) I love you.