Why is it that to be filthy stinking rich, being dumb has to also come with the territory? I have one person on my mind right now, and thats Jessica Simpson. (Ugh!, loud annoying music to follow that link)

It’s not that I have anything against her personally, but shit, can anyone be “more stupider”. Her entire show on MTV is only popular because of the pure comedy in how retarded she actually is. The strange part, aside from the fact that I watched the damn show, is I genuinely like her hubby Nick.

While Nick may not be the best example of optimized darwinism, you do have to give him points for having as much money as he does and still showing up in a place like Home Depot. If you have not seen the episode, Nick gets the idea he needs a new lawn, rather than just pay to have one planted, he puts in a semi-solid effort to march out on his own. Why he hired street thugs and tweakers t help is still a mystery to me.

Of course, he fails pretty miserably, I mean, if I was worth millions, I sure as hell would not be dragging around a long hose and sprinkler, but whatever, not everyone can glue plastic pipes together. I still have to give the guy credit, his patience level is to be admired.

While Jessica and Nick are wandering around Home Depot, (maybe that’s where he met the tweakers) the brainiac stumbles upon a bottle of “Goo-Gone”. Now, who in the hell does not know that Goo-Gone rules?! Apparently Jessica Simpson, cause she pays someone to take off the stickers on everything she buys. Really, she has no need for it, I am sure the second something gets a little mucky she just buys a new one.

I’m sorry, I just have to draw the line somewhere. Yeah, I can let a lot slide if you have an ass like hers… thats a post Dukes of Hazard ass by the way. But for Christ’s sake, ask me what Goo-Gone is and a thoughts of baseball bats and golf clubs start entering my head.