I want my foreskin back, it has been bothering me for quite some time now. It’s just not fair, my girlfriend has orgasms that send her squirming up the walls. I on the other hand, could order dinner while rubbing one off without the flinch of an eye. I am willing to bet, there just may be nerves in that foreskin, the kind that make things feel good.

Good news is, there is the Convention on the Rights of the Child. Article 24, section 3, even states the following:

3. States Parties shall take all effective and appropriate measures with a view to abolishing traditional practices prejudicial to the health of children.

I am no lawyer, but I am pretty sure that means I should be able to be compensated for violation of my rights.